There are a number of ways for a man to irritate a woman. Sometimes it happens without effort. However, we learn from our mistakes. Moreover, we learn from the mistakes of others. This gives you a road map of an area to avoid. Here are some situations that you may wish to avoid.
Pick a nice warm sunny day. Perhaps she is sitting outside on the patio. She may be using the cordless or cell phone. Now is the right moment to use your Poulan chainsaw. This will blast her back into the house. You will interrupt her serenity and phone call. This technique will annoy her. It also shows complete disregard for her feelings. You can get two annoyances for the price of one.
Here is another method for irritation. Pick a time that she is watching television. Perhaps she is taking a break from doing things around the house. The perfect time is movie time. She may be watching a DVD. It is better if it is something on her favorite female cable channel. Sit with her and watch the program for a while. You may not find this easy. However, it can pay big dividends.
You can play the movie bashing game. All you have to do is find things that you do not like about her movie. This will not take long. Complain and ridicule as much as you can. You may point out that the movie is senseless, for example. See how many things you can come up with.
This is an indirect approach of insult. By insulting something she likes, you insult her. You also insult her taste in movies, and intelligence. This can go a long ways toward marital discord.
Now is a good time to show total disregard for her things. Do you have any painting to do? Most likely, you have procrastinated enough to accomplish that. You need a paint mixer. Do not go out and buy one. You can buy one, indirectly. Go into the kitchen and get her hand mixer. Here is your new paint mixer.
You will now have plenty of time to paint in quiet. You will be undisturbed. She will be at the mall, looking at hand mixers. You perform another dual task. You get a paint mixer and irritate her, with one selfish incident.
You have worked very hard to make her life uncomfortable. It may time for some rest. You could apologize, but that may not work. You need to think of excuses. Why not plead insanity. She will have little trouble believing that. Obtain a black helmet. Line it with aluminum foil. Cover it with foil, if you want. Wear it inside the house. She may ask you why. Explain that the aliens are stealing your brain waves. You may get that rest time that you need. It could be for 48 hours of observation, but it is still rest.
Conclusion
If you seek marital harmony, do not try these stunts at home. They are dangerous and should only be performed by a qualified moron. Learn from the mistakes of others.